This is the fourth installation of “Rules for a Happy Life.” That means that there are three other blogs before this with good information too. I am sixty four years old, and I have learned a lot about trying to be happy. My Korean son in law suggested I share these rules that I wrote with you, so I am doing it. I hope they can help you.
31. Don’t get angry easily. Getting angry doesn’t accomplish anything. It usually only causes trouble. You say things you don’t mean to say. You hurt people. You give yourself healthy problems like ulcers and heart problems. Honestly, I don’t know why anyone let’s themselves do it. It has been many years since I let my self get really angry. When it happened, I realized that I had embarrassed myself and made myself feel sick on top of it, and I realized how silly it was to get mad at people. Patience isn’t easy to learn, but when you think it out logically, it makes much more sense than getting mad and screaming. Take care of yourself and those around you. Just decided not to get angry anymore.
32. Don’t be rash. Think things out. Don’t just react. Maybe the reaction is right, and maybe it is wrong. Think about what you do before you do it. Ask yourself what will happen if you do it. When I was a little girl, I was like many other kids, and I would get upset and think I wanted to run away from home. However, I never did. I didn’t because I stopped to think. If I go, where will I go? Where will I sleep? Where will i eat? I realized I had to learn to get along where I was and wait if I wanted to leave. Think decisions out. Don’t just jump up and do things without thinking them out. You won’t be sorry you took time to think about your actions beforehand.
33. People are just people. Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time. This was a big lesson I had to learn. Growing up, I was very shy. I had it in my head that I was very much on the bottom rung. I thought everyone else was so much smarter than I was. I didn’t think I could do things others could do. I was afraid to talk because I thought what I had to say was worthless. I had to figure out that people are just people. I don’t have to be afraid of anyone, and neither do you. It doesn’t matter who they are, whether they are the queen of England or a beggar in the streets of Morocco, they are human beings with the same feelings and needs that you have. If you are doing the right thing, you should never feel intimidated by anyone.Everyone’s ideas have merit. Human beings are all in the same category. One is not above another in reality.
34. If you mess up, get up and try again. None of us is perfect. We try, but everyone falls down sometimes, just don’t stay there. If you fall off the wagon, get right back on. You don’t want to be the one who lives in a mud puddle just because you fell there. Get up. Wash the mud off and try again. If you make a bad grade at school, learn from it. Look to see what you did wrong, understand it, and make sure you don’t do it again. If you accidentally react wrongly by screaming and hurting someone’s feelings, don’t give up. Apologize and try to control yourself better from then on.
35. People appreciate creativity. If you can come up with good ideas that others haven;t thought of, you are valuable. Don’t hide your creativity. I used to feel embarrassed by things I created. There was a time I would write a story and hide it. No one every saw it, and I was afraid if they wanted to look at it. I made up crochet patterns and hid what I made. I felt silly. I drew pictures and didn’t let people see them. However, I finally learned. You see me writing this blog, don;t you? You are reading what I write, and I have learned that people think what I have to say is worthwhile. The first time someone asked me to paint a mural on a wall, I shied away and didn’t do it. However, the next time, someone asked me, I had a bit more courage and did it, and I really enjoyed myself and people like what I did. It had my personality in it. People like to see your personality in what you create. They all think they can’t, but many more can than can’t. Give it a try.
36. No one wants others to know their mistakes. You are not alone. You know you don’t want me to know what you have messed up. None of us want others to know where we have messed up. If you know someone’s faults, keep it to yourself.
37. If your computer messes up, turn it off and turn it on again. That fixes 99% of the problems. There was a time that I was afraid to use the computer. I was afraid I would destroy it if I pushed the wrong button. I used it, but very cautiously. My Japanese son in law realized what I was doing and explained it to me. It is pretty hard for you to destroy a computer by using it. Relax and do what ever you know how to do and experiment. The reason why kids have a tendency to do well on computers is because they have no inhibitions. They don’t realize they can mess up and know if they do, their parents always bale them out. Approach the computer like a child. Experiment and play with it. If you think you have messed it up, turn it off and then on again, and it will be back to normal.
38. Don’t spend all your money at once. Keep prices as low as you can, but still enjoy your life. It is good to watch your money and keep the prices you pay low. Your money stretches more if you do. However, don’t go crazy. You only live once and you don’t have to eat cardboard pizza. Is no air conditioner in the hot summer months really worth it? Air conditioners in Korea can get expensive and expensive to operate, but the weather is so humid, we felt we had to have one. I didn’t want to shell out a couple of thousand of dollars for a nice big air conditioner for the whole apartment. I bought a small air conditioning unit that goes on the wall and put it in the living room for only about four hundred dollars. We didn’t have the best air conditioner, but we had one, a new one. The salesman tired to tell me it wasn’t big enough, but I didn’t listen. It kept us from melting and didn’t break me. We leave our bedroom doors open at night so the air conditioning can keep our rooms from getting too hot. If we do get too hot, we go sleep on the couch under the air conditioner. We live as well as we can as cheaply as we can, and then we have money when we need it.
39. Don’t do without the air conditioner or the heater. Living a decent life is more important than money. As I said before, use your head about it and don’t make it the most expensive, but give yourself a decent life. I was married to a Scrooge for 25 years, and he made our lives hard. He let me buy fruit and put it in the fridge, but only I was allowed to eat it, and I didn’t like him forbidding my kids to eat the fruit. I did things to make sure they could eat fruit and drink soda whether he liked it or not because I thought he was wrong. I looked out for my kids. I wanted them to have a decent life growing up. Live a decent life. Life shouldn’t be completely austerity. Austerity out of selfishness just isn’t humane.
40. Make priorities. Decide what is important and stick to it. I had a professor in school that told me that the way he got things done was to get up in the morning and make a list of everything he wanted to accomplish that day. As he accomplished them, he would check them off. He got a lot done that way. Plan and make sure you get done what you want to get done. When I get up in the morning, I make a list in my head thinking about what I want to accomplish, and I get things done. No one taught me to speak Korean. There were no books or classes to learn Romanian. I pushed to learn. When I was in graduate school, I had an overwhelming amount of reading to do. I made a goal. I was going to read 100 pages a day, and I did. I graduated with the highest honors and was asked to join the National Council for Teachers of English. That is the group that makes up the rules for English in America. You will accomplish if you make goals and decide to do it.