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Rules For A Happy Life, Part 3

Yesterday, I told you that my computer was having problems that began with a small problem and then got worse, and finally, my computer died this morning. I haven’t bought a new computer. I don’t want to buy one till I get to America because computers are cheaper in America than in Korea. I am using a very small computer that is very awkward that my daughter used to use.She stopped using it because the screen has holes in it, but it still works. I can use it until I buy a new computer. Having money makes life easier, but money isn’t everything. My daughter pulled her old computer out and rebooted it for me because we have a good relationship. Maintaining good relationships goes a long way. Now, let’s get ti the rules, (Sorry, the “bold” function on this computer doesn’t work.)

21. Snakes bite. Another good way to sat it might be “don’t play with fire.” Don’t assume that people who are bad to others won’t turn around and do something bad to you. Stay away from people like that. Be careful. Don’t assume that because another person can take illegal drugs and get away with it that the same will happen to you. Lot’s of people end up in the emergency room or dead. You never know when it might be you. None of us is so special that we can put our hand in the fire and not get burnt. Don’t flirt with danger. Be wise and protect yourself,

22. Have self esteem, but don’t tell others. People like people who are humble. They don’t like people going around telling everyone how great they are. However, don’t really think you are so lowly that you aren’t”t as good as other people. You will never accomplish if you don’t have self confidence. If you have no confidence, it is even hard to make friends. Know you can, but don’t be boastful about it. Take care of yourself and keep yourself looking as nice as you can, but don’t run around with a big head thinking and acting like you think you are the prettiest. People don’t like to think others are better looking or smarter because they all think there is a competition. Take care of yourself, but don’t make yourself a threat to the others. Maybe you are better looking, but don’t tell them.

She has a weight problem because of medicine she muts take, but she is smart, talented, pure, and sweet. Give people a chance.

23. Each person has value. Never think that fat girl or that guy who looks like a geek doesn’t have value. You never know what is in there. I was lucky in high school because I was pretty enough to be crowned, but I didn’t seek out the most beautiful and popular kids. I discovered that often the overweight girls had the most patience and were the kindest. I liked hanging out with them better than the popular girls. If you make friends with someone younger than you are, they will appreciate your presence more than the ones who are older than you. Talk to that strange looking person sitting next to you in class, you may find a diamond. Talk to the foreigner. I learned a long time ago that making friends with people from other countries is a good idea. I have learned so much by making friends with people from other countries. Each person has value.

Are you a Christian? Figure out why before someone tries to challenge you.

24. Know why you think what you think. If you espouse a philosophy or a religion, but don’t understand it, how do you know you are right? If you don’t understand what you believe, just know there are people waiting in the wings to challenge you. If you don’t know why something you think is right is right, do your research. You may be right, and you may be wrong. People pick at others who think different than they do. Be careful and understand what you say you think,

Don’t do all the talking. Let others talk too.

25. Let other people talk. People like to be heard. They often could care less what you think. They think what they are saying is worthwhile, but they aren’t convinced what others say is worthwhile. They don’t want people competing with them. They feel better if they are allowed to say what they want to say. Don’t be the only one talking in a conversation. People like to talk about themselves., Let them. It takes humility not to do all the talking, and people like humble people. It doesn’t mean that you should let people run over you or push you around. It just means be polite enough not to have to be the center of attention all the time. Only be the center of attention if other people put you there, and take the spotlight humbly.

26. Take note of what others do and say and learn from it. This is how children learn to talk. This is how children learn what is acceptable and what isn’t. Don’t lose the art. I had a friend in Romania who was the rector of the university where I taught. He was so popular they were always putting him in the news. There was speculation that he would be made an ambassador. People really liked him. He write a poem about how he was always borrowing from other people. He said if he met someone and they did or said something he liked, he incorporated their ideas into his own life. He was always on the look out for good thoughts and good ways. It opened doors for him. It left him with a beautiful wife, a sweet little girl, a good job, and friends everywhere. I really liked his idea of borrowing ideas and actions from others. He knew that I was very religious, and there was a mutual admiration between him and I. He decided I was right. He didn’t quite understand what I was doing, but he decided to display an icon of a saint in his office that he identified with to show everyone he was a Christian.I don;t use icons, but I knew he got the idea to be closer to God from me. I saw people’s reactions to that icon in his office, and I could tell it was opening doors and making friends for him.

Treat others well no matter how insignificant they might seem.

27. Putting others first is putting yourself first. When you treat others well, if they are decent people, they will treat you will back. The rector in Romania I told you about is a good example. A lot of English speakers are asked to read what the professors in foreign countries write in English and correct it for them. I read what he wrote and corrected it for him. When someone tried to cause trouble for me, he had my back. When I left Romania, he wrote a letter of recommendation for me that my kids said sounded like I saved the world. That letter opened lots of doors for me. I also proofread for another professor here in Korea. He ended up becoming president of the university, and he began trying to make me vice president. I treated these guys well, and they didn’t forget. If make dinner for someone, they like it, and they like me. I don’t treat people well for what I can get out of them. I just like treating people well, and they turn around and appreciate me because I treated them well,.

People do crazy things when it comes to money. Be careful.

28. Never tell people how much money you make. There is always competition in the workplace. If someone discovers your paycheck is higher than theirs, they may get mad at you or cause trouble with your boss. Don’t tell people you meet in other places either. If they make more, they could look down on you because people measure others on how big their paycheck is. If you make more than others, they may start trying to get what you have. They may just ask for a loan, but there are other worse scenarios. When my oldest son was in e elementary school, we took him to karate lessons. We tried to get to know his teachers. One was a really nice guy, like a Baptist preacher. The other was kind of a rough guy, but we thought he was probably okay because he was hanging out with the Baptist preacher. We owned a business, and we just made a decent living. We weren’t getting rich, but some people think all businessmen are rich. We went away at Christmas, and when we came back, someone had broken into our broken into our house. The house was trashed, but there wasn’t anything there for them to take. They took our VCR, our typewriter, and my class ring. They took some costume jewelry probably hoping it was real. Our computer was so old they just left it alone. We figured out eventually that the rough karate sensei thought we were rich because we had a business, and it was him that broke in because he knew we would be gone. If people think you have something, they are going to try to take it away from you. Be careful.

29. Think before acting or speaking. Calculate the benefits and the downfalls. If you simply react, you might regret what you said or did. Our first impulse is not always the best for our benefit. Think about your responses to people. How will they react to what you say or do?

30. Don’t gamble. Think it out. How many people actually win? Gambling never made sense to me because you are just throwing your money away. If you play a game, only one person can win. I love playing games, but never with money. Gambling is like putting your money in the trash can.Who can afford t do that?

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