An Embarrassing Japanese American Mix Up

When I was a student in Japan, something happened that made all the Americans feel bad and embarrassed both. One of the American girls came home one evening to the boarding house completely happy! She was in love! She just knew she was going to get married! She had spent all evening necking with a Japanese guy. (“necking” means amorously kissing and hugging.) She was on cloud nine, and we were all happy for her!

Japanese guys don’t usually do what this Japanese guy did.

However, she had not counted on the guy having spent too much time in America. Many guys in America often will neck or even go further and try to get whatever they can out of a girl, but not be serious at all. Nice girls must be careful in America. This guy was a Japanese preacher, so the girl completely trusted him, but he had studied in America. He had learned from the American guys to kiss and kiss and kiss, and then drop the girl, and that is exactly what he did to the American girl. Usually, Japanese guys were more gentleman like in this way. Japanese guys are shy or act like they don’t care. The social norm is not for them to run around trying to get as much as they can out of the girls. In Japan, often, the girls have to chase the guys if they are ever going to get anywhere with them. Japanese date completely different from Americans, but this Japanese guy had learned American ways. If the girl was going to kiss him, he was going to take advantage of the situation like most American guys would.

The American girl thought she was going to get married, but instead her heart was broken.///Photo by burak kostak on Pexels.com

The next day, when the American girl went to find the Japanese guy she had necked with, he told her it meant nothing, and that he was engaged to be married to a Korean girl that we all knew. He planned on marrying the Korean girl he was engaged to. He hadn’t told the American girl before that he was engaged. He just indulged his lower passions all evening and got everything he could get out of her like many American guys try to do with girls. The American girl was devastated!! She had thought she could trust him! She went back to the boarding house crying her eyes out! We all rallied around her. He had attended an American university and become too American, and we were embarrassed to be Americans because we understood he was doing things the American way and not the Japanese way.

He married the Korean girl, and it ended up in a divorce.

I wondered what the Korean girl he was engaged to thought of what he did. Surely someone told her, but they got married anyway. Now, though, I have heard they are divorced, and he is no longer a preacher nor a Christian because he went out on his wife with another woman. The things he learned in America influenced his whole life, and it is sad. The American girl went back to America and lived her life there.

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